Master Key Part 5 really hit home this week – here’s why:
I was adopted as an infant by a wonderful middle class Midwest family. My Mom & Dad (aka June and Ward Cleaver) also adopted twin boys nine years prior. We grew up knowing we were adopted and had permission to search for our birth parents whenever we wanted to.
I was always treated differently than my brothers, I was held to a higher standard and told ‘you can do whatever you put your mind to’ – I did and was considered the favorite child because of my efforts. My brothers, on the other hand got into a lot of trouble with drugs and alcohol, dropped out of school and were pretty much enabled to do so because they had ‘Indian blood in them’ and their behavior was accepted because of that (no idea what the correlation was).
Fast forward through many dysfunctional years, a lot, I mean A LOT of life (some of the best and worst times in my life) went by until I decided to find my birth parents for health reasons, as at that point I had a son and was concerned about our health histories. Like everything I set out to do – mission accomplished. I found them – my Mother was still alive, my Father dead from heart issues, but Judy (my Mother) had all of the info I needed to close this chapter of my life.
The book didn’t close there – I ended up meeting Judy, went so far to have her come and stay in my home, meet my husband, my son, my step daughter AND my Mom and Dad. Seriously, I should write a book about this!!! I regret a lot of this visit, but not those pictures of all of us together (pic below – my Mom on left, Judy (Mother) on right), those priceless memories of my Dad playing pool with Judy, and my Mom and Judy recalling everything about the adoption (before my Mom lost her memories to Alzheimer’s) and how everyone hugged and thanked each other for the experience. Can you say WOW?!?!?!
Back to my point. Although removed from birth, Judy and I were so much alike – I did not like her after a few days and we didn’t talk for many, many years – she was a bitter and lonely woman – still is. After my Mom passed, I felt the need to tell Judy, maybe trying to fill that void, but not really, for NO person could fill my Mom’s shoes – she was an Earth angel – she was everything Judy wasn’t.
I can remember growing up, being mad all of the time. I can still hear my Mom’s voice asking why I always had a chip on my shoulder. It wasn’t until now – Part 5 of the Master Keys that I figured it out…….heredity!!! Because of MKMMA I know I have a choice to pick and choose the traits I wish to carry forward from Judy and discard those that don’t serve my Dharma. YAY!!!!!
On a separate note…….I often wonder, if my brothers were held to the same standards that were set out for me, my soul brother may be still be alive, and my living brother and his family (generational white trash) would have different lifestyles? Fortunately, I carried the words of expectations forward to my son and my nephew (my soul brother’s son) and they thrive as very successful men and dads. I’m confident they made it out alive! Us – 1, Heredity – ZERO
So, yeah, I wish MKMMA would have come to me a long, long time ago, but I wasn’t ready…..I’m ready now – BRING IT ON!